The Blogs and Podcasts of Brice Finnegan Jones III

Mon June 2nd 04:34
Boredom reigns, procrastination flourishes.

Caffeine pills, 3, 4, 5; I no longer know. And coffee, coffee. Black. Guatemalan Antigua, Sharp flavour with smoky acidity and full bodied with a chocolate hint apparently. Tastes like coffee to me. Why bother with all these fancy beans? Note to self, stop being pretentious with coffee choices. Noodles consumed. Endless hours online. Screen glare burning the eyes. Boredom reigns, procrastination flourishes.

Need a story. Not just a story, but the story. Each journalist needs it, the one to get them going. Question is where, when, what, why and who? Questions that won't be answered by just sitting here. Or will they?

The internet, an interesting entity. Boundaries of language and geography shrunk. People of the world can express themselves in all manner of ways. I can sit here, adding extra definition to the ass crevasse in my chair, and explore the world: the people in it. Chat to a surf chick in Australia who wonders why I'm still awake at such an hour, check the spread of H5N1 across the globe, everyone else seems to have forgotten. Not me. Update my Google toolbar to give me a "mood ring" (apparently I'm stressed, tired, working too hard) whilst it tells me my search history (effects of caffeine on the body (1,780,000 results) effects of drugs on the body (22,600,000 results) sex (251,000,000 results) least they have their priorities sorted. Wish I hadn't had that last pill. Feeling a bit strange, is this what they feel like in Guatemala? Feel better in knowledge that people taking drugs are doing more damage to their body than my digestion system being affected with 'relaxed muscles') all this whilst searching how many single girls live within 5 miles of my post code. Procrastination flourishes, boredom reigns.

Now to link such online actions with actual work. Spend enough time stumbling across the never ending intrigue of the net and eventual one should stumble upon the story of a lifetime. That's the theory, that's what I'll tell myself when I write another article for some generic online web magazine to tide the old bank balance over. Eventually, it'll all come good. Now for some online poker whilst I ponder how I'll avoid a pandemic of human to human H5N1: nomadic hermit lifestyle best plan so far.

Wed June 11th 2007 23:58
TV blaring in the background. Noise. It's been on so long I don't even know wh...no wait... Text to meet girls in your area?

Those girls look hot. There is no way those kind of girls live near me let alone sit home at night waiting to reply to text messages. Who texts these kind of numbers anyway. Seriously?

Thurs June 12th 00:05
Meet girls in your area - NOW

I'm one of the people who text those numbers.

Tues 8th July 15:23

*sound of crowds in background, coffee machine noises, clatter of mugs and saucers*
Cough, right then. Podcasts. Everyone seems to be doing them now. Not being one to follow the crowd, I haven't. Till now of course.

*sound of sipping from a mug*
So the other night I had a brilliant idea. We've all seen those pretentious writer types who come into coffee shops with their laptops and note pads. Spend hours on one cup of coffee and write. As if to say to the world "hey look at me, I'm a writer, that's my job, how cool am I? Aren't I cool? Are you jealous? Yes you are. And yes, yes that is a Macbook Air. And oh! Oh wait! Yes - yes that is my iPhone I have strategically placed on the table next to my Mac-book-aiiiiir.

So yeah. We all know them. Well I thought I'd take it to the next level and actually podcast from a coffee shop! I've already got a few looks. One, unsurprisingly, from a man typing on his Macbook air who has an iPhone.

*sound of sipping from a mug*
*sound of eating a brownie*

(With mouth half full) Mmm that's good brownie.

*sound of swallowing*
*sound of sipping from a mug*

Right then. Where do people go with these things? See the thing is, I only thought as far as actually getting here to do one cause I thought it would amuse me. Which it is. But now what? The coffee is good.

*sound of big gulp of coffee*
Well I saw the new Indiana Jones film the other night. Fridge?...That's all I'm saying. Never mind all that other stuff. I mean it's just slightly less believable than intelligent design. It's easier for people to believe that some intelligent designer came up with all the blueprints for every organism on this planet, don't even begin to think about the rest of the universe, then this designer went a built these organisms like some crazy air-fix model building builder? It's easier to believe that than organisms developing tiny little changes through generations, some help, some hinder. Only the strongest and most adept survive. That is harder to believe than just having some magic composer and conductor doing it all for us? Come on!

Also. Actually no. Wait. I sound like a miserable bastard complaining all the time on this podcast. I do like things to. No. No. Wait again. I have to complain. I don't like the word podcast either. Why podcast? I can play this on any mp3 player, why does it specifically have to relate to the iPod? Don't get me wrong, I don't hate apple but please! Not everything revolves around them. With that in mind, this is the end of my "podcast."

Tues 8th July 15:25

Hello and welcome to my Moving Picture Experts Group Audio Layer 3 cast. Or Mp3-cast for short.

Right then, things I like. I like coke. The drink. And coffee. Coffee is good. Also, as I said before, I like evolution. It's such a nice idea. And really, if you sit down and think about it, how much precious and amazing does life seem if it's all just some cosmic accident. Serendipity.

That is to say I like evolution to a point. Cause once the fish start evolving again and moving onto land, then we're in for it. Fish are bastards.

I like food too. Like to try new things. I don't however, like Rosemary. Rosemary fills me with dread. July 2nd, 1989, the day I saw Rosemary, and cried.

*sound of big gulp of coffee*
But anyway, yes, on with the pod, I mean, Mp3-cast.

Well then, I know. What do you think I should do with these Mp3-casts? Send in some emails and we'll see it we can make this a regular thing. Although maybe not from coffee shops. I am getting quite a few odd looks now. I feel more uncomfortable than a Jew sitting in an uncomfortable position. Ah! You thought I was going to make a Jew joke! Push the comedic boundaries. How's that for an old switcharoo? Plus I don't feel particularly safe making such jokes with all these people watching me. It could be misconstrued.

So we'll leave it at that. The first ever Brice Finnegan Jones the third Mp3-cast. I understand it has been a mix of ramblings but hopefully with a bit more structure and your input they can become something quite beautiful. Message me with thoughts and ideas and I am sure hilarity will ensue.

Wed 9th July 11:02

Well it seems a few people have downloaded my first and last Podcast as well as my first mp3 cast. And one of you has even taken the time to send me an email as to what I should do with future mp3-casts with helpful advice;

Don't bother

Thanks Max. Assuming your name is Max. Thank you for your supportive email and I shall take it into consideration.